Blame
by TarableTaralynn
Summary: When Ian is killed during a robbery, Anthony blames himself for not being there to help him sending him into a depression. He won't listen to anyone, until one night he's visited by the only person that could get through to him.
1. Chapter 1

**Blame:**

**By: Taralynn Wakelin**

He clicked save on the computer before he leaned back stretching his sore muscles from sitting at the computer for the last three hours. He rubbed his hands over his face as he yawned, another video finished and ready to go tomorrow. He turned off his computer and left the room, as he neared the living room he heard laughter. In the living room, he found his best friend sitting on the couch laughing at some show he was watching. He went to the couch, moved his friend's feet and sat down in his usual spot.

"Is the video done?" His friend asked never taking his brown eyes off the TV.

"Yep, just finished!" He answered.

"_Awesome_! We'll be able to put it up tomorrow on schedule!" His friend said smiling still watching the show.

"Man I'm _beat_!" He said yawing.

"I know what will make you feel better!" His friend said finally looking at him.

"What?"

"_Food_! Food _always_ makes me feel better!" He said standing. "I'll go see what we have for dinner!" He walked into the kitchen.

"Sounds good!" He answered rubbing his tired blue eyes trying to wake himself up.

"Dude looks like we're ordering out!" His friend said smiling returning to the living room holding takeout menus. "What do you feel like?"

"Let's have…Chinese?" He answered looking through the menus.

"I'll order it now!" His friend said leaving the room.

"It's _your_ turn to pick it up Anthony!" He yelled so his friend could hear him.

"Uh…_no_ Ian, it's _your_ turn dude! I picked it up the last time remember?"

"_Seriously_ dude? I just spent the last three hours starring at a computer screen, I can barely keep my eyes open and you want me to go get dinner?"

"It _is_ your turn!" Anthony added smiling.

"_Fine_!" Ian said dragging out the word, he stood up and headed for the kitchen.

"My half is on the counter! You want me to come?"

"Nah, you stay here I'll only be 20 minutes!" Ian said yawning.

"Cool, there's a show coming on I want to watch anyway!"

"You _enjoy_ that!" Ian said as he left the house. He got into his car and pulled out of the driveway, turning music on to help keep him awake.

Ian was almost to the restaurant when he remembered he had no cash on him, which meant he would have to stop at an ATM machine. Cursing to himself, he drove to the nearest machine and parked; he got out sighing and stood in line behind two other people. Finally it was his turn; he quickly put his card in and withdrew some money. As he did he never noticed the dirty, young man come up behind him, he turned around and bumped into the guy Ian quickly apologized.

"Shit! Sorry man!" Ian said smiling.

"Can you spare a couple of dollar's man? I'm _real_ hungry!" The man asked.

"Sure…here's $10.00!" Ian said holding out the money, suddenly feeling nervous.

"Give me _all_ of it!" The man ordered.

"_What_? No way, you little punk! Get out of here before I call the cops!" Ian said angrily as he went to push past, the man spoke stopping him.

"I _ain't_ asking asshole!" The guy said pulling out a gun aiming it at Ian.

"Okay, okay here take my wallet!" Ian said holding it out to him.

"Your _watch_ and _cell_ too!" The guy demanded waving the gun.

"Here take them!"

"I _can't_ go back to jail!" The guy suddenly yelled after taking the things from Ian.

"I won't tell the cops okay? I'll…" Ian was cut off by the sound of the guy's gun.

The first bullet hit him in the shoulder, knocking him back against the wall. He barely registered what happened before two more bullets hit him; one in the chest, the other in his stomach. He slid down the wall until he was sitting on the ground, the guy panicked and dropped Ian's thing's before he took off running. Ian sat on the ground unable to call for help or move, his vision began to get fuzzy, the pain was intense, he was having trouble breathing he felt like he was drowning. Suddenly he heard running feet and people yelling something, but he couldn't make out what they were saying or answer. He felt someone touch him, he _tried_ to focus on them, but he couldn't he was so tired and cold. All he wanted to do was close his eyes and sleep, but the person wouldn't let him, they kept talking to him calling his name. He felt pressure on his body causing the pain to get worse, he wanted them to stop, but couldn't get his body to cooperate. He began to cough, he couldn't breathe suddenly everything slowly faded into darkness he closed his eyes unable to fight it any longer.

**With Anthony:**

His show ended, he looked at his watch starting to get a little worried it had been almost an hour, Ian should have been back awhile ago. Not wanting to freak out over nothing he took his cell out and tried calling Ian, he didn't get an answer and hung up starting to get more worried. He sat on the couch debating if he should wait or go look for him, not sure what to do he tried his cell again still getting no answer. He tried to take his mind off of Ian by watching more TV, but it didn't work and he decided to go look for him. He had just finished putting on his shoes when someone knocked on the door, he answered it to find their friends; Mari, David (Lasercorn), Matt (Sohinki), and Joshua (Jovenshire). He smiled at them confused to see them, he spoke.

"Hey guy's, what's up?"

"You _forgot_ didn't you?" Mari asked.

"Forgot?" Anthony asked.

"You guy's invited us over for pizza and games!" Joven answered.

"That was _tonight_?" He asked letting them in.

"Yep! We didn't see Ian's car did he go get the pizza?" Lasercorn asked.

"Okay…we _forgot_!" Anthony admitted.

"_Ha_! You all owe me _$10.00_ bucks each!" Sohinki said smiling.

"_Damn you Sohinki_!" Lasercorn said as he handed him the money.

"What's going on?" Anthony asked smiling.

"We made a _bet_ whether or not you guys would forget about tonight, I _won_! Thank you Anthony for having a bad memory!" Sohinki said laughing.

"So where is Ian?" Joven asked.

"He went to pick up dinner for him and I, but he's been gone an hour! He should have been back by now!"

"Have you tried his cell?" Mari asked.

"Yeah, _twice_ no answer both time's!"

"Maybe he went to Smosh HQ?" Sohinki suggested.

"Maybe, I'll try his phone there now!" Anthony said calling, feeling stupid for not thinking of trying there. "There's no answer!"

"Should we go look for him?" Mari asked.

"Yeah, we'll…" The phone ringing cut Anthony off, he quickly answered it thinking it was Ian. "Dude where the _hell_ are you?"

"Is this Mr. Padilla?" Asked an unfamiliar female voice.

"Yeah, who is this?"

"Sir, I'm calling from Mercy General Hospital. Do you know a Mr. Ian Hecox?"

"Yeah, he's my best friend!" Anthony answered nervously.

"Sir, Mr. Hecox was involved in an accident and brought here. We need you to come here as soon as you can."

"_Accident_? What…what _kind_? Is he…_alive_?" Anthony asked.

"I'm sorry sir, I can't give you any information he's still in with the doctor."

"Alright I'm on my way now!" Anthony said hanging up.

"Anthony? What's wrong?" Joven asked.

"That…that was the _hospital_! Ian's there, he's been in some kind of accident!" Anthony answered panic all over his face.

"Let's go! Anthony you're with me!" Sohinki said as they quickly left.

**At The Hospital:**

The drive seemed to take hours to Anthony, he kept thinking he was going to lose Ian; his best friend…his brother and it ripped him apart! They arrived at the hospital and rushed inside to the front desk, Anthony tried to keep calm long enough to learn about Ian.

"Excuse me?" He said to the nurse at the desk.

"Yes?" She replied visibly annoyed he had interrupted her work.

"I got a call saying my best friend was here, he was in an accident!"

"I'm sorry we can only give out information to _relatives_. Are you a relative sir?" She asked continuing to type without looking at him.

"Yeah, he's my brother!" Anthony answered without hesitation.

"You just said you were his _best friend_, now you're his _brother_? Which one is it sir?"

"Both!"

"Both?" She questioned starring at him, before she looked at the others.

"Yeah, he's my brother _and_ best friend! Now _please_ tell me where he is?" Anthony demanded.

"What's the name?"

"Ian Hecox."

"He's still with the doctor; you'll have to wait until the doctor comes to talk to you. Have a seat in the waiting room and…"

"I'm _not_ going anywhere until you tell me if he's okay!" Anthony said upset.

"Anthony come on man, let's go sit down we don't want to get kicked out." Lasercorn said gently putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah come on." Joven added.

**An Hour Later:**

It had been an hour since they arrived and they still had no idea how Ian was. Anthony couldn't sit still, he paced the room nervously stopping whenever the doors opened thinking it was the doctor, but it never was. Anthony stood looking out the window when the doors opened again and a young doctor came in, he spoke.

"Are you here for Mr. Hecox?" He asked looking around at them.

"Yeah, that's us!" Anthony answered as the five of them stood in front of him.

"Which one of you is his brother?"

"I' am!" Anthony answered.

"Sit please." The doctor said as they all sat.

"How…how is he?" Anthony asked.

"Your brother came here in critical condition; he had been shot three times."

"Wait…_shot_? I don't understand!" Anthony said upset.

"From what I've been told he was robbed at gunpoint while at an ATM, the robber shot him three times before he took off."

"Is…is he going to be okay?" Sohinki asked.

"He lost a lot of blood, and flatlined in the ambulance. We tried to stabilize him so we could get him into surgery, but he flatlined again before we could get him to the OR. We did everything we could, but it wasn't enough and he passed away. I'm so sorry for your loss." The doctor said gently.

"No, no, _no_! You're _wrong_! He _can't_ be dead!" Anthony said his tears falling as he stood. "You're _wrong_!"

"I wish I was, I'm sorry!" The doctor said.

" No! I don't believe you!" Anthony yelled as he ran out and started looking in rooms for Ian, refusing to believe he was dead!

After five minutes of looking he still hadn't found him until he turned a corner and in the first room he saw a nurse covering up a body on the floor was a familiar shirt. He rushed in and she looked at him, he yelled at her to get away from him as he went to the bed.

"STOP! Get away from him!" Anthony demanded as he pulled back the blanket with a shaky hand, a sob escaped his mouth seeing Ian laying there. "Ian! Open your eyes, don't be dead _please_!" He begged taking one of Ian's hand's in both of his, he bent closer and crying brought their hand's to his forehead. "I'm _so_ sorry Ian!"

"Anthony…we should go." Lasercorn said gently touching his shoulder.

"I don't want to leave without him!" Anthony said starring at Ian.

"I know, but there's nothing more we can do here. Let's go home." Mari added.

"Okay." Anthony said quietly letting go of Ian's hand, he then allowed Mari to lead him from the room.

**A Week Later:**

The days following Ian's death were hard on all of them; especially Anthony. He fell into a depression, he felt like half of him was missing and he blamed himself. He locked himself in his house refusing to see or talk to anyone, the others were worried about him they had already lost Ian and they were afraid they'd lose Anthony too. The others took care of all the funeral arrangements and left him a message telling him the day and time. The day of the funeral Anthony was up before the sun and sat starring out the window a cup of coffee growing cold in his hands. He looked at the clock and realized it was almost 9:30 and Mari would be picking him up soon. He went to the bathroom, had a shower before going to his room, and got dressed. He had just finished when the doorbell rang, he answered it Mari smiled sadly at him before without a word she hugged him.

"Let me get my jacket and keys, I'll meet you at the car." He said as he went back inside and took a deep breath to steady his nerves before he grabbed his things and left locking the door behind him.

**At The Church:**

The ride to the church was silent, when they arrived they parked and got out. It took all of his willpower to force himself to stay, when he wanted to leave, run as far away from there as fast as he could! Suddenly he saw Lasercorn, Sohinki, and Joven walking towards them, he just had to make it through the funeral and then he could be alone.

"Hey guys, everyone's inside. We're almost ready to start." Sohinki said.

"Let's get this over with." Anthony said sighing.

The service began, Anthony didn't pay attention his eyes never left the casket that held his best friend. He closed his eyes as a single tear escaped silently, as he thought of never being able to see the man he considered a brother again! He listened to people speak about Ian, and Anthony _hated_ it, they didn't know the _real_ Ian and it made him angry they acted like they did! He couldn't sit and listen to anymore, so when the priest began to talk again he stood up and quietly made his way to the doors and left. Once outside he sat down on the curb and sighed shakily, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"You okay?" Lasercorn asked as he sat beside him.

"I just needed some fresh air." Anthony answered.

"You want to talk?"

"Not really…I'm going home, I can't do this is sorry!" Anthony said as he stood.

"Want me to take you home?"

"I think I'll walk. Can you tell everyone where I went?"

"Sure man! We'll stop by after the reception okay?"

"Okay." Anthony said as Lasercorn stood and they hugged.

"See you later." Lasercorn said turning to go back inside.

"Yeah." Anthony answered as he began to walk away.

**TBC…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

**Later:**

After leaving the church Anthony walked home slowly, he had no reason to rush his best friend was gone and all that waited at home for him was an empty house full of memories! He made it home and went inside locking the door behind him; he took his shoes and jacket off and sat on the couch. The last conversation he had with Ian began to replay in his head and the guilt grew _worse_; if only he had gone himself or at least went with him Ian would still be alive! They had been best friend's for year's, _brother's_; they were inseparable sharing everything good and bad and now…now he was gone leaving Anthony alone! He got up and went to Ian's room; he stood in the doorway he sighed sadly, as he looked around at Ian's things. He went to his bed and sat down, he leaned on his knees and just sat there lost in his memories, time passed and knocking on the front door brought him back to reality. He looked at his watch and was shocked to see that two hours had passed, he got up and went to the door and opened it to find his friend's.

"Hey guys." Anthony greeted them quietly.

"Can we come in?" Sohinki asked.

"Yeah." Anthony answered moving to the side.

"How you holding up?" Joven asked once they were sitting in the living room.

"I'm kind of _numb_ right now, it's almost like I'm in a really bad dream and I can't wake up!" Anthony answered sighing.

"We know how you feel." Mari said gently taking his hand.

"No you don't!" Anthony said pulling his hand away, he stood angrily.

"He was our friend too, we all lost him!" Lasercorn added.

"He wasn't just my best friend, he was my _brother_! How can you guys _even_ compare your friendship with what Ian and I had? So, _no_ you guys have no idea what I'm going through!" Anthony yelled.

"You're right we _didn't_ have the kind of friendship with Ian that you had, but that doesn't mean we don't miss him as much as you!" Mari said.

"Just leave!" Anthony said as he turned and walked to his room.

**Later That Night:**

Hours after his fight with the others, Anthony lay on his bed asleep facing the wall when he was woken by something on his bed. He rolled over and slowly opened his eyes, and saw the one person he never thought he ever see again…_IAN_!

"What the _hell_!" Anthony said sitting up fully awake now, he put as much space between them as he could without falling off the bed. "You're…you're…"

"Dead?" Ian said when Anthony couldn't finish his sentence.

"Why are you here?" Anthony asked nervously.

"I'm here because you're having a hard time letting me go!" Ian answered.

"I get it!" Anthony said as he got off the bed, and stood against the wall keeping his distance.

"Get _what_ man?" Ian asked confused watching as Anthony made his way to the door by sliding across the wall, making sure to keep his distance from Ian.

"I'm _dreaming_! This is all one, giant _mind freak_! All I have to do is wake up and you'll be gone and I won't be fucking crazy!"

"Fine, wake up then!" Ian said smiling as he crossed his arms.

"Fine, I _will_!" Anthony said closing his eyes tight, he waited a few seconds before opening them to find Ian gone he smiled. "Like I said it was all just a bad dream!" He said as he went to the living room.

"You awake yet?" Ian said from the couch, Anthony jumped.

"Damnit!" Anthony yelled turning to face him. "You're _still_ here!"

"Gee, thanks dude!" Ian said sarcastically.

"Why can't I wake up?" Anthony asked pinching himself. "_OW_!"

"How long are you going to do this?" Ian asked sighing.

"Until you're gone!" Anthony answered as he continued trying to wake himself up.

"This is going to be _fun_!" Ian said smiling as he stood up. "Maybe you should try running into the wall; if you run hard enough you just might wake up!"

"Okay, I'll try anything!" Anthony agreed smiling as he ran towards the wall, he hit it hard and fell to the floor on his face Ian crouched beside him and spoke.

"Did it work? Are you awake yet?"

"Shut up!" Anthony said as he stood rubbing his head. "Why can't I wake up?"

"You can't wake up if you're _not_ sleeping!" Ian said sitting.

"So…that means you really _are_ here?" Anthony said as he sat too.

"Yep!"

"Why?"

"To help you let me go!" Ian said gently looking at him.

"Well…you can leave now, I'm okay!" Anthony said quickly as he stood.

"Really?" Ian asked as he crossed his arms again.

"Yes, really! So, thanks for the visit and have a good afterlife!" Anthony said as he turned to walk away, Ian spoke stopping him.

"If that's true then why did you fight with the others?"

"How…how did you know about that?" Anthony asked turning to face him.

"I'm a _ghost_, duh! I also know how you've been hiding from life!" Ian answered.

"Fine! Alright! So what? I lost my best friend damnit, what am I supposed to do huh? Forget you and just move on?" Anthony yelled.

"No, but you can't hide from the world Anthony, dude it isn't _normal_!"

"Yeah, well…talking to your dead friend's ghost isn't normal either!"

"Okay, fine! If you can honestly tell me you're okay I'll leave and never come back!" Ian said looking at Anthony.

"Fine, if it'll get rid of you! I'm…I'm _not_ okay!" Anthony finally admitted.

"Why are you doing this to yourself dude?" Ian asked sadly.

"_I_ got you killed Ian! How can I let that go?" Anthony yelled.

"What?"

"Damnit Ian! Its because of _me_ you got killed!" Anthony repeated.

"What are you talking about? I was killed by some homeless guy!"

"Yeah, because I was too lazy to go myself! If only I had gone, then…"

"Then _you'd_ be the one dead! How is that _any_ better?" Ian demanded cutting him off.

"I should have gone with you! I could have stopped him!"

"I get it now!" Ian said gently.

"Get what?" Anthony asked confused.

"You can't let me go because you blame _yourself_ for my death!"

"I could have done something if I was with you!"

"Yeah…get yourself _killed_ too! Don't you get it Anthony? He was _crazy_, he had a _gun_! What the _hell_ could you have done?" Ian asked gently.

"I don't know, but I should have been there to at least _try_!" Anthony answered.

"Anthony look, you need to stop doing this to yourself! There's nothing you could have done to stop this from happening! _Please_?"

"Ian I miss you _so_ much!" Anthony said crying.

"I miss you too Anthony!" Ian said as he hugged him crying too.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Anthony felt Ian letting go and closed his eyes tight knowing that Ian had to go, he spoke sadly looking at him.

"You're…you're leaving again aren't you?" Anthony asked quietly.

"I have to." Ian answered.

"Will I see you again?" Anthony asked.

"I…I don't know. Do me a favour?" Ian asked.

"What?"

"Move on, live your life man! Make things right with the others too okay?" Ian asked touching his shoulder.

"I promise!" Anthony said smiling sadly as Ian hugged him again. "Bye Ian!"

"Bye Anthony!" Ian said as he pulled away, he turned to leave, but stopped he turned back to face Anthony again and smiling sadly he waved before he disappeared.

Once he was gone, Anthony felt a peace come over him for the first time since Ian had died. He sat on the couch looking at the spot where Ian had been and sighed sadly; yeah his heart was _still_ broken, and he'd always _miss_ Ian, but at least he could move on knowing Ian didn't blame him and that he was still with them! He leaned back and rubbed his hands over his face before he got up and went to his room and sitting on his bed, he picked up his cell. He looked at the time, it was 2AM he sat there debating with himself about calling so late, but knew he had to he promised Ian! So he dialled the number and leaned back against the headboard getting comfortable as he waited.

"H…hello?" Answered the sleepy voice.

"Hey, its…its me! I know its late, but I had to apologize!" Anthony said.

"Are you _okay_? You sound _weird_!"

"You know what? I _really_ am now!" Anthony answered honestly, as he picked up a picture of Ian and himself. "Do you want to come over later?"

"Sure man, I'll call the others later and we'll come hang out! I'm glad things are better between us!"

"Me too Lasercorn! I'll see you guys later, night!"

"Night Anthony!" Lasercorn said hanging up.

After hanging up Anthony lay down on his bed and smiled to himself, yeah things were starting to get better slowly, and as long as they kept, Ian alive in their heart's they would all be okay one day.

**THE END!**


End file.
